


How to Save a Life

by Superfast_Jellybitch



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superfast_Jellybitch/pseuds/Superfast_Jellybitch
Summary: "I think there's a moment for two people. A single moment, where they can either catch fire or...." - Bones, Season 2, Episode 5.orAu where Zack and Hodgins didn't miss their moment.
Relationships: Zack Addy/Jack Hodgins
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	1. Aliens in a Spaceship

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter is just a snapshot of what could've been, taking place during one episode, because the writers did my boy Zack so dirty and I'm still mad about it over a decade later.

Zack had never been so scared in his life, and he was coping the only way he knew how; throwing himself into his work, giving everything he could to this investigation because if he did it right, Dr. Brennan and Dr. Hodgins had a shot at survival. The only other person in the lab who understood a fraction of what he was feeling- or rather, what he was compartmentalizing away as best he could- was Angela, and she wasn't compartmentalizing nearly as well. This was a nightmare. They were out of time, but he was still staring down the text message that Angela swore was meant for him. And then, suddenly, it made sense. He was explaining as he went, both for his coworkers' understanding and so that he could keep pace with himself, pulling the puzzle apart. He had them. He knew where they were. There was a chance. A very slim one, but it was all he had and he would cling to it.

He'd been stone still the entire car ride, filled with terror at the thought of never seeing either of them again. It didn't matter anymore- or maybe it mattered even more than it had when he'd commented on it earlier in the day. When they had been safe.- that Jack loved Angela more than he would ever possibly love Zack. He just wanted him to be _alive_ and _safe_ , and _happy_. He really ought to have said that to him, and now he might never get the chance. Zack looked out over the miserable landscape of dirt- no, coal enriched soil. Hodgins hated the word "dirt"- scanning desperately for any signs of disturbance. Anything that would lead him to Dr. Brennan and Hodgins. If only he could've figured it out faster, then maybe...

Zack's attention was drawn out of his despair by Agent Booth darting down the hill. He'd seen something. Oh god he'd _seen_ something. By the time he and the rest of the team got down there, Booth was already dragging Dr. Brennan from the earth. Almost immediately he dropped to his knees and began desperately digging through the loose soil, flanked by Cam and Angela. If Dr. Brennan was still alive then there was a chance that Jack was, too. Then, he found an arm, and his breath stopped. With Booth's help, Zack pulled Hodgins from the earth.

It wasn't until he had Jack's head in his lap and his face in his hands that the tears began to fall. Zack didn't even notice them at first. He was just so relieved that it hadn't been too late. Almost losing the people he cared most about was harrowing, and he made the mental note that he would not under any circumstances repeat the experience. For a blissful moment he was so lost in the adrenaline and the feeling of soft curls under his fingers, that he forgot he was out of line.

Angela leaned in and kissed Jack so desperately, Zack could feel the force of it against his knee where Hodgins' head still laid, and he remembered. He would have stepped back if he could, to let them have their tender moment with the privacy they deserved, but given current positions, he just sat still, a tearful smile still on his face as he felt his emotional high begin to wane. It was alright, though. Jack was _alive_ , and he was safe, and he was loved, and that's what mattered.

\------------

Of course, after all was said and done, and an ambulance had carted Dr. Brennan and Dr. Hodgins away, Zack returned to the lab. He didn't have anywhere else to go, really. He couldn't follow them to the hospital- that was Angela's job, now; being at Jack's side- and he couldn't retreat back to that little apartment above the garage where he slept (he couldn't call it his 'home', really. That was the Jeffersonian.) knowing that Jack wouldn't be in the house adjacent, so here he was. In the institution long after close, looking over everything again, trying his hardest to glean something- _anything_ \- new from Ryan and Matt's remains before they had to turn them over in the morning. Something to lead them closer to this perpetrator. He couldn't live with the knowledge that this guy was still out there, and he could just take them from him again if he wanted.

Zack had just looked up from the bones for a moment when he saw that a new light had been turned on. Who else would be here this late? Curious, he set out to investigate, only to stop in his tracks when he saw who it was that was sitting there. The tired looking man who slumped uncomfortably in his seat, head hung over a sample of some sort, a pair of crutches at his side was most certainly Dr. Hodgins.

"Shouldn't you be in the hospital?" Zack asked, his head cocked to one side in confusion.

"Shouldn't you be at home?" Hodgins fired back without even looking up.

Zack shifted uncomfortably on his feet, trying to think of how to best explain himself. He couldn't tell the whole truth- That almost losing Hodgins had been the single most terrifying experience of his whole life, and he couldn't live with the knowledge that it could happen again, let alone go home and sleep. So he settled on a partial truth. One that both of them could tolerate.

"I couldn't go home."

"Yeah, and I couldn't stay at the hospital."

"You should be resting."

Jack glared up at him, and the disapproval stung, but Zack knew he couldn't just cave. This was important. Steadying himself, he explained the only way he knew how.

"The emotional and physical ordeal you've just been through; along with the drugs they've most certainly given you at the hospital are likely to impair your judgement. Strictly speaking, Dr. Hodgins, you're simply not fit to work at the moment."

"Oh, and you are? How many hours without sleep are you going on now, Addy?" He snapped defensively.

"I fail to see how that is rele-"

"Look just, spare me, okay?" Hodgins sighed, throwing his hands up. "I can't do this dance right now, I-I need to focus."

Zack paused a moment, and then nodded understandingly. He couldn't move Jack on this, he knew that much, but he could do something. He pulled the adjacent chair out and sat down in it, looking up at Hodgins expectantly.

"What are you doing?"

"You don't want to go home, and I can't make you- even if it's obvious that you should- so I'm doing the next best thing. Just..tell me what you need?"

Hodgins sighed, running his hands through his hair. He looked back at the samples on the table, staring for a long moment, trying to find an answer. Zack just waited patiently, hands folded in his lap.

"I... I need answers, Zack. I need more evidence, I need this guy behind bars where he can't-" Jack's voice cracked, and Zack's heart sank. "Where he can't hurt anyone else."

Zack frowned as he watched his friend fight back the tears. He didn't do human emotion well, and the last thing he wanted was to accidentally say something to make it worse. instead, he just said;

"I meant what do you need _from me_. Right now. We all need those things, but if there's a way I can help you in this moment, I want to do it."

"I don't know."

Hodgins turned away from him, a gesture that was almost definitely a learned response to hide emotions, and began staring at the samples in front of him again. The only new material was a piece of a bumper sticker retrieved from Hodgins' leg earlier in the day. God, was that really only 12 hours ago? It felt like a thousand years and 5 minutes all at the same time. Probably the shock. But regardless, it seemed that Hodgins had reached the same standstill with the samples as Zack had with the bones, and was just as miserable about it, if not more. He knew he needed to say something, but just... he didn't know what.

"Hodgins, I..I'm not good at emotions, but-"

"I know, Zack." He interrupted. "Thank you for trying."

The silence that stretched between them was a bit more comfortable, but the gravity of the situation still hung heavy in the air around them. They were at a dead end. It seemed hopeless. Finally, Hodgins spoke again.

"Y'know, earlier today I- well I almost thought..." His eyes met Zack's, and his grin faltered slightly.

"You thought what?" Zack asked, brows knitted.

"You know what, never mind. It's not important."

"I wanna know." He demanded.

"Well, I.." Hodgins rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling lightly. "I thought for a second, you were gonna kiss me. Ridiculous, right?"

Zack tilted his head again, fixing Hodgins with an inquisitive gaze.

"Why would that be ridiculous?"

Hodgins picked his head up, looking Zack up and down, trying to tell if he was being serious. Of course, that was wholly unnecessary, as Zack was almost always serious.

"Wait, you weren't...you weren't _actually_ going to kiss me, were you?"

"No. I wouldn't kiss anyone without express consent."

"Okay, but say you _had_ express consent."

Zack wasn't sure of the direction this conversation was headed, but that question gave him a queasy, butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling. It had to be some sort of verbal trap, right? He'd say yes and then he'd be mocked for it. That's how these thing usually went, but.. but this was Hodgins. They were friends, right? Zack took a deep breath.

"Yes. With express consent, I would have kissed you without hesitation."

"Wow..." Hodgins said quietly. "That's um. That's a lot to take in, dude."

"I-I'm only speaking in hypotheticals, of course." Zack backtracked. "I know that you and Angela... I mean, I would never-"

"I know, Zack. I just...I had no idea you felt...like that." Jack stuttered out

Zack knew that stutter. That bashful, vulnerable one that he'd only ever heard come out in front of a pretty girl. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but he couldn't help the faint blush that colored his face. It was merely a biological response. Nothing to be ashamed of, but he still found himself feeling very grateful for the shade of darkness.

"I didn't see the benefit in telling you." Zack stated plainly. "You expressed a very keen interest in Angela, and she in you."

"Zack..." Hodgins trailed off, unable to think of anything to say.

To tell the truth, Zack wasn't sure what to say either. This wasn't a conversation he'd been prepared to have, and now that they were having it... he didn't know what to make of it. Bones were easy. Solving crimes was easy. Writing dissertations was easy. This conversation? The one about his unrequited and inappropriate affections for his coworker, best friend, and sort-of landlord? This was not easy.

"You um. You asked me what I needed?"

"Yes."

"Could you- um- could you just-" Hodgins took a breath, trying to fight through the nervous stammering to get the question out. "Would you just hold my hand?"

Zack's eyes widened in surprise, blindsided by the question. Of all the possible outcomes, he could not have possibly anticipated this one. He felt his heart rate speed up, his face growing redder by the second, and his palms had already begun to sweat. If he had to hazard a guess- which he didn't make a habit of doing- he'd say that his pupils were dilated as well.

"I'm not sure you'd really be interested in holding hands with me. I've been told that I'm too stiff and that my hands are sweaty."

"Dude. I was buried alive. I thought I'd never see you again, and you just told me you're harboring a big, high school style crush on me. Hold my damn hand."

He couldn't argue with that logic, especially with how much he felt the same. Zack swiveled his chair around to sit at Hodgins' side, placing his hand awkwardly atop the entomologist's. Hodgins smiled- weak, but genuine- and turned his palm upwards, threading their fingers together. He leaned against him, placing his head onto Zack's shoulder as though it was just another thing they did. He looked tired, and like the pain medication might be wearing off, but he also looked happy.

"We're gonna catch him. It's what we do. We catch the bad guys." Zack said softly, squeezing the hand in his in a way that he hoped was reassuring. He didn't often deal in absolutes, but this one...this one felt right.

"Yeah. We are." Hodgins echoed, squeezing back.

Zack relaxed a little, finally easing into the feeling of Jack against him. He wasn't good at this, he knew that, but he didn't mind it, and if it was what Jack needed, then well. He _had_ offered. He pressed his nose into Jack's hair, kissing the top of his head gently. It was bold, but if Jack minded, he didn't show it. He remained slumped against Zack, hand in his own. It took Zack another minute to realize that he'd fallen asleep on him. Well, that would hurt them both in the morning.


	2. The Man in the Cell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long absence! Between moving cross country, keeping up with school, and zE eXiStEnTiAl CrIsIs, I've had my hands full. Anyway, enjoy the Smooching Bisexual Science Men.

Zack hardly had a chance to get through the door before he was tackled. He yelped. Having already been sore from the explosion, the sudden force and crushing pressure did his bruised body no favors. The arms around him loosened a fraction at his pained sounds, but remained steadfastly in place. After a moment, Jack pulled back just enough to glare up at him.

"Don't you _ever _do something that stupid again, do you hear me?" He threatened, but there was no true malice in his tone. Only concern.__

____

____

"I wasn't planning on it." Zack winced. "You're hurting me."

Hodgins finally released him with a friendly pat to the shoulder, contradicting the desperate embrace he'd just held him in. Zack couldn't quite wrap his head around whatever was going on between them. Hodgins hadn't so much as touched him after he'd woken up on his shoulder in the lab the day after the Gravedigger incident. It was as if some great chasm of awkwardness had opened up between them, the tension so strong that Zack- who was never good at recognizing an uncomfortable situation in the first place- could feel it physically. Like a change in the weather. Yet, the force with which he'd just hugged him went against every pattern of behavior Hodgins had exhibited in the past few weeks. Zack's head hurt, and he was pretty sure it wasn't just from being blown up.

Dr. Brennan guided him gently to the couch in her office, sitting him down like he was a child. He drew the blanket a little tighter around his shoulders as the news anchor droned on. It was strange to watch a news report on his own death. His mother was going to throw a fit when he called her after all this. Mostly, all he wanted was to go home and shower, but to quote Agent Booth, he can't go home. He's 'dead', which means he gets to spend the night on the couch in Dr. Brennan's office. It's something he's done many times before, but that didn't make it any more comfortable.

"I'm about to head home. Are you sure you're okay?" Dr. Brennan asked him as she retrieved her purse from her desk chair.

"Yes, I'm fine. Be careful?"

"I'm significantly more careful than you." She laughed, making her way to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Zack."

"G'nite, Dr. Brennan." He called after her.

Zack sighed, stretching out on the couch and trying his best to get comfortable. That was a lot easier said than done. It seemed extensive bruising was not conducive to relaxation. Exhaustion was finally beginning to win out over the pain, when he was brought back to full consciousness by a knock at the office door. Funny, he could've sworn that Agent Booth had told everyone who wasn't himself that they were free to go home. Zack got back on his feet slowly, his muscles already stiff, and hobbled over to the office door. Dr. Brennan had closed the blinds on her way out, and he peeked through them to find Hodgins on the other side of the door. He gave him an awkward wave through the blinds, his smile almost apologetic in nature. Zack opened the office door.

"What are you still doing here? Booth said you could go home." He asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah it um. It's too weird. Leaving you here like this, I mean." Jack shrugged. "Are you still doing okay?"

"I'm fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Dude, you _blew up_. The news is telling everyone you're _dead_. We've got the right to be a little worried."

"But...I'm not dead. You know that I'm not dead, right?"

"Yes, I know that you're not dead, I'm not an idiot, I just..."

Hodgins paused, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to self-soothe. Zack knew a little bit of what he was feeling. It had only been a few weeks since he'd been having the same crisis himself, after all. But he really had thought that Jack would've taken the same steps that he had. He kinda figured that he'd just go home and play video games, or go over to Angela's place, yet...

"Do you want to come in?" He asked directly. He was sore, and tired, and pussyfooting around things wasn't really his style.

"I dunno man, I don't wanna bother you-"

"You already woke me up."

He stepped aside and gestured for him to enter. It felt strange, inviting someone into Dr. Brennan's office, but he found that after he'd extended the offer, he really wanted the company. Jack stepped in without another word, sitting stiffly on the edge of the couch. He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, looking more nervous than Zack had ever seen him, and frankly, he couldn't figure out why. Maybe he just wasn't comfortable being in Dr. Brennan's office after dark? That seemed likely, as that was a privilege usually reserved for Zack. He sat at the opposite end of the couch, sinking into it with a sigh.

"I'm sorry for waking you up." Jack said to the floor

"It's fine. I don't know if I could really call it 'sleeping' anyway." Zack groaned, rubbing at his shoulder again.

"Hey, um, weird question, but do you uh. Do you remember that conversation we had a few weeks ago when...when you know."

"Which conversation?" Zack asked, trying to think back and remember specifics.

"The one where you said you want to kiss me."

"Yes, I remember that conversation. What about it?"

"Zack, I don't...I'm not sure what it is I'm feeling towards you. I-I haven't dated a guy since college. I'm not even sure if I still know the rules. All I know is that today? Those few moments when I thought you weren't coming back? Those were the worst moments of my life. And I was buried in a car for 12 hours."

"I know. _That_ was the worst 12 hours of _my_ life."

"And I also know that I want you to kiss me."

With that one sentence, Zack's entire world slowed to a stop. He'd never considered- not even with Jack's head on his shoulder, his fingers intertwined with his own- that he might ever want something more. Why would he? Hodgins had Angela. Still, he wasn't just gonna let this opportunity pass him by.

"I mean, I understand if y'know... the moment's passed or somethi-"

Zack cut him off, cupping his face and kissing him just the way he'd wanted to for the last few weeks. Hard, and desperate, and wholly inappropriate for their current position. Jack's hands scrambled for purchase against him, finding it in the lapels of his lab coat and using his newfound leverage to pull him in closer, kissing him back with fervor. It was so much better than he'd imagined; hot and full of promise. Zack had tried to wrap his head around the whole 'fireworks' theory since he was a teen, but hadn't been able to make sense of it until just then. When he finally pulled away, he found himself staring into heavy-lidded blue eyes, vexed by the desire in them. Wow.

"I don't know either." He blurted out, hands still cupping Jack's now confused face

"What?"

"The rules for dating other men. I don't know them either."

Hodgins laughed- not the hollow, mocking kind of laugh, but the contagious kind that made his nose wrinkle and his eyes sparkle. The kind that makes Zack's lips twitch upwards even when he doesn't know what they're laughing at.

"I guess we'll have to make new ones then." He announced, still smiling wide. "Go out with me this Friday."

"Like a date?"

"Exactly like a date. Anywhere you want to go, anything you want to do. _Nothing_ is off the table."

"The Museum of Natural History." Zack replied with no hesitation.

"Okay.... _anywhere_ you want to go." Jack said much slower, careful to emphasize the word 'anywhere'.

"..The Museum of Natural History." Zack repeated, matching his tone. "Why are we repeating ourselves?"

"It's just usually when I say 'Anywhere you want to go' most people say 'Fiji', or 'Paris', or..."

Hodgins trailed off as Zack looked at him with growing confusion. Was that really what his dating experience was like? He didn't have much of a frame of reference himself. Zack could count on one hand the number of dates he'd been on, and nothing more outstanding than dinner had ever crossed his mind. He'd never needed something that loud.

"...Okay, so the Museum of Natural History, then. Nerd." Hodgins conceded with a smile.

"Yes. I enjoy looking at the fossil collection."

"You like the dinosaurs." Jack translated in a teasing tone.

"I also like Italian food."

"So, dinosaurs and spaghetti-os." He smiled. "It's a date."

Jack kissed him again, the second kiss much calmer than the first. It was soft and slow, the kind of kiss that leaves one breathless; the perfect end to an awful day. Zack found himself melting against his friend, exhaustion and infatuation mingling in a hazy fog. When Jack's arms wrapped around him and began to drag him back down to the couch, he followed, finally breaking the kiss as Jack pulled him against his chest. Cam was dying in the hospital, Booth's son was put in danger, Angela would never be able to look fondly on that article again, Dr. Brennan still somewhere felt responsible for all of this, and Howard Epps was still at large, but somehow Zack felt that everything was going to be okay again.

"You should go home and get some sleep." Zack said without making any move to let him up.

"Or I could just go to sleep here." Hodgins replied, making no moves to get up.

"Fair point." he yawned.

"No arguments, huh? No 'what would Dr. Brennan say'?"

"No."

"Sweet."


End file.
